Lake Awonga

Awonga Dam

So, from Cairns I head down to Brisbane – to drive up to Gladestone. Now, you bitches and hoes who think I am from Sydney, I am not. My family first lived in the bush, in a place called Benaraby. To get to where we used to live, cross a river, then turn into normal road, to bush and fuckn dirt roads with lots of rocks. On top of that, there is spinifex grass. All potentially damaging to a car that I hired to get there.

Flight from Cairns to Brisbane was uneventful. No one was on board, and some old fat white man was sleeping and he put his dirty fat feet on me. He woke up with stab wounds all over his foot from a deranged filipino and a fork. But the sunrise was beautiful, a red glow like the blood all over the stabbing of fat white man.

Anyway, I arrive in Brisbane, only to realise my bloody cousin (who shall ramain nameless, “cough” tasing you idiot) forgot to ogranise the car, and I was stuck in bloody Darra (Vietnam Land in Brisbane) with no idea how to get to fukn Thrifty to get the car. I call Tash up, scream at the bloody bogan (she is half white, and I blame her white genes) – and then call Thrift only to realise that the only car available is in bloody Ipswich.

Now, Ipswich is where bloody Paulene Hanson is from, so you can only expect Derros, Bogans and ignorant whtie Australian trash – and I was no disappointed. The place is so Derro, being bare foot is expected dress-code. I have always said that you can always tell what an area is like by the kids, and the kids here look so dirty, Mt Druitt kids would be pointing at them and laughing. Anyways, I get the car and get charged a shit load cos I’m under 25.

The drive up to Gladestone was uneventful (except for me being charged for overspeeding 127km or so in a 100k zone). Being in Gladestone made me realise just how much I miss Australia, and to an extend family (not you Tash). Actually, Tash and I used to come here a lot (she’s the one with the phone). We used to kill soooo many Cane toads together. We killed heaps this time around, but we had to get my other cousin who has just recently migrated to kill them with us. He was scared shitless of the brown snakes, regardless of how many times I had to reassure him that they don’t come out at night. But after we killed them, we just threw them into the bonfire. It was a great night of drinking and eat marshmellows in a perfect star filled night.

And this is what I kill the Cane toads for. It managed to wedge itself between a radio and the wall. I don’t know why Tash kilsl frogs, I think she does it  because she actually likes killing things. My Kuya on the other hand was pressured into it. These frogs are cool though.