Oz Trip – Day 4

Kuranda Village, Skyway & the Elusive Pygmy Koala

Waking up is a bitch sometimes – maybe I am reaching that age where I would like a holiday where I did nothing, because normally when I go on holidays, I am walking my brown ass around some shit – looking at some shit (well in my case, looking at white people). Anywho – I am forced out of bed to go to Kuranda Village – highly recommended by both my family & the pretty waitress last night at dinner (I meant, I wasn’t looking at anyone cos I would get my ass kicked – I meant, no one is prettier than my beautiful french woman!). 

Anywho – we pay like $180 for the both of us to take the Skyway and the Choo Choo Train back to the Skyway. So we had a whole day’s worth of stuff to do. The only thing that sort of ruined it, was the constant rain – but we were in a Rainforest – the only difference between summer and winter up here, would be that summer would be 10 times hotter. I am fine with the heat here for now.

I don’t really get why Marine’s camera takes brighter/colourful pictures and mine are typically darker. Might just be a reflection of our character, or I end up editing it that way. Anywho – I wasn’t allowed to make out because people were passing by on the cable carts, probably with looks of confusion, “is that brown guy robbing that poor, helpless French woman!!!”

I was VERY tempted to shake the cable cart, someone in particular is scared of heights (well I am too sort of). BUT the stupid thing stopped for like 10mins for no apparent reason. In my head, I was beginning to panic, “SHIT – what if the mother fucker starts to roll back down, what if it falls into the forest, oh crap – I am going to have to be a hero or something cos ma biche is here” – anyways, didn’t have to, it kept moving – but seriously – they have announcements for those things!

The forest walks were incredible, very jungle-like – we saw a few giant Ulysses butterflies (these massive blue butterflies) and a cockatoo sitting atop a tree as we passed by it on the cable cart.  Was quite exciting, though the cable cart was fogging up … for some reason … he he he. Hand marks being left here and there! Was totally Kate/Leo/Titanic – bah ha ha ha … sniff sniff … no it wasn’t. It was more like, “ça suffit” & “ça va pas” – as well as a few blows to the head.

We paid to see rainforest, and that’s what we saw – can’t really get over what it looks like over there. I have been to heaps of different types of rainforest, and I do prefer the Australian ones. Or maybe this time around I liked the company I was with.

Anywho – we arrive at Kuranda Village – it is pouring rain. So Marine quickly buys an Umbrella for us to use as we explore the little town (mostly filled with Souvenir Stores, Aboriginal Art & Opals). They have some cool markets in here though, lots of different animal parts you can buy. I bought ma biche a sarong, a nice opal necklace & something else I forgot … the sarongs here were quite nice btw, totally made for white people ethnic look.

Anywho – we have lunch at the rest restaurant with a forest next to it. And of course I had to order something Australian. The flag was a nice way to differentiate the burger from a typical American burger, or British one … that’s the extent of Australian ingenuity with their food/culture. Stick a flag on it, the tourists won’t know the difference. Actually, I think the waiter was surprised pure English was coming out my mouth, he must have thought I was Japanese or something.

Marine had a vegetarian lesagne, the cheese was a bit of a turn off – but I don’t think it was too bad.

Anywho – we get our asses off, to the choo choo train – where an American woman announces quite loudly, “are they in our seats” indicating Marine & I. This has happened to me numerous times on my travels eg. “is he in your way?” - “they’re going the wrong way“, “that guy is totally lost” – “should we ask him for help” – and a range of other idiotic crap that comes out their mouths. They are either being rude by purposely talking loud OR more likely, their idiotic thinking that no one can hear them. Bitch we’re not in your seat (I later find out she is a yahuudi – yes Maz – my senses to these things still work). She also had her children reading, READING on the train. God, I hope her kids get beaten up at school.

Anyways, the train stops so we can have a look see at the main attraction of Kuranda. The Hydro Electric Waterfall. It looked heaps nice when we were there, doesn’t look as impressive from here. I don’t think there are too many waterfalls in France, cos this was quite impressive to Marine. It would probably be heaps nicer if we could go up to it, but it’s probably to prevent tourists damaging it. And by tourists I mean asians.

This waterfall was MUCH more impressive, it was right next to my window. I always have this need to want to drink from them, along with the cryptosporidium. AND I was purposely blocking the American Woman’s view of it the dumb bitch. I would FUCKING FART on you if Marine wasn’t there. Damn right, then pretend not to speak English so that I can get away with it.

Now THIS is the elusive Pygmy Koala. I heard there was this tourist guide that purposely put one on a tree, so that when he takes tours, he surprisingly points it out, and then watches the tourists take photos of it. NOW you might think that it was only Asians that fell for this shit, it wasnt! English, Irish, Scottich and even French fell for it!!!