Even though Americans may not know it, they cop a lot of criticism from around the world (mostly Europe I would say). I guess American’s would see it as jealousy or envy or a lot of other bullshit that mostly makes up defensive arguments. I do feel that it has a lot to do with misinterpreting behaviour, and making a shit load of assumptions about a people who have no consistent identity. There is this idea that Americans are big (not necessarily), fake (sort of I guess) and full of themselves (a little harder to explain). What is definitely true is that there are a shit load of American flags everywhere – something you’ll never see in Australia or England unless people are using it as a signal for us ethnics to get the fuck out their country. (These photos are of Westhaven, Connecticut – Freaken beautiful area by the way).

So we begin with fat. Yes, there are a LOT of big people in the US -  but not every second person you meet is a heffer. Deep friend food is definitely something that is part of the food culture in the US (I am not dissing it, I love fried food). I distinctly remember seeing two giant women, and their giant son, chowing down on the biggest lobster I have ever seen in my life. They were even wearing bibs as they ate, clearly preparing to splash food everywhere. If you don’t care how you look, and if you’re enjoying life, then fuck it – eat as much as you want. I have no beef with that. But seriously, when you’ve gotten to the point where you’re enhaling your food, perhaps fast food isn’t the best way to go.

In terms of being fake, I met a man from Switzerland who compared the US culture to their houses. On the outside, it’s all beautiful, but made to cover everything wrong with the inside. It’s a culture of constant smiling, and in France it would definitely be seen as insincere to constantly smile at people – but I do feel that it has to do with reassuring the person you’re talking to. Australians tend to smile a lot as well, and then they think French people are snobby and rude for not smiling. There is also this need to say “lets hang out some time” but nothing ever comes of it (which is something commonly said by Europeans who I’ve met who talk about the US).

I guess the last bit, “full of themselves”, is part of the positive culture of upbringing where their voices and opinions are constantly heard and acknowledged. I think children have a lot more independence in terms of what they can and cannot do, so they don’t mind talking to an adult as if they were on equal terms. I found this incredibly rude, I disliked the idea that children could address an adult directly, and cut in or even take part in an adult conversation. I also think students talk down to their teachers, rather than talk up to them. I will never get used to that, and perhaps it continues to adult hood. I lived with an American who complained that Asian Cultures focused too much on respecting elders.  Perhaps thats it …

I think a lot of the prejudice towards Americans comes from interpretation rather than actual reality of experience. Americans would say French are extremely rude, but I find them extremely polite. I don’t think I would get used to kids treating me like I was on the same level as they were, I am the teacher damn it. I want to say they’re all fat and full of shit, but they’re more similar to Australians than you would think. Though swearing seems to be an extreme faut pas, and smoking as well .. so wierd.

This wasn’t the first time I have visted the US – and yes I am well aware of the fact that it must look strange that I was ordering food rather than serving it, cos there were a SHITLOAD of Mexicans serving and cooking and doing everything else that Americans don’t want to do in New York City. Therefore I was also well aware of the giant portions of food, and I was absolutely prepared to eat anything and everything cos this shit just doesn’t exist in France!

Did you think these were Calamari Rings? Well, they’re not – they’re the biggest effing Onion Rings I’ve ever seen. They had more batter than onions, and even the onion. You could probably squeeze out 50mls of oil out of it. Don’t get me wrong, I say all this, but I freaken LOVED this shit – there’s no Burger King in France so I’ve got no access to this at all.

A LOT of hamburger dishes in the US were served with pickles. WTF were they supposed to do? Cos it was already difficult to wash down a lot of the food with Coke, was it supposed to be an appetiser? I tried to eat it while I ate the burger, and it just doesn’t suit. It was yuck. The buger was alright though, not worth the price but I wasn’t paying.

This food came from the food court in Ellis Island (basically there was no choice of food – everything was fried and cost a blodoy fortune). Lucky for me, I wasn’t paying, but coming from a country where the closest dish to this fat content would be frying a block of butter and pouring it over ham and cheese croissant.

I think it’s called soul food, cos of the corn bread. That was a bit confusing eating something sweet with something savoury. Bug again, can’t complain cos this stuff was NOICE!!! Served by mexicans too … I think when they saw me, they were even a bit annoyed … I felt akward being served by them too … I even felt like I could understand Spanish (I fucking can’t).

I was NOT going to leave the US until I had Dunkin Donuts (served by Indian guys). That was sooo wierd, the cashier was yelling at his subordinate (Just go get him the ice coffee – hurry up!!!). I had a strong feeling it had to do with skin colour, he was a little lighter than the other guy.

I have been warned, WARNED I tells you, of eating hotdogs in NYC – but I’ve heard that the best come from Gray’s Papayas. You gotta try two hotdogs with a papaya shake. It’s a wierd combination, but it seems to work. Cheap too – totally my kind of meal.

But if you want the pure bacteria infested hotdog experience, go to any vendor near Central Park – and you can have one of these chilli and cheese hot dogs. I could feel my stomach protesting … I mean, they’re a hundred times worse than the kebabs you get in a dodgy areas of Sydney. It does the job though, but fark … ring burn.

And of course the famous New York Pretzel … what can I say? I got my US experience, that’s what I wanted and that’w what I got – I spent $100 US on fastfood in a space of 10 days and I gained 6 kilos as a result. Two weeks later and I still haven’t lost it.

There aren’t that many perks to being a teacher (except the holidays and short hours, but in reality the rest of the time is spend marking and preparing lessons and we’re not paid for that shit). But the current job of mine offers a trip (in fact you MUST go to at least one) to the US, England or Australia and I was sent to the US with 30 students (15-16yr olds). All the students stayed with host families, while I stayed with a host teacher. Can’t complain, I’ve never been to New York and I’ve always wanted to go. I guess the biggest pain in the ass if having to herd French kids up and down NYC, but it was all in all an excellent trip. Would have been better had I done it solo, but hay – I got paid to take a trip, I can’t complain. (BTW that picture is one of the first I took of NYC, it’s a view of the city from the Hudson River).

I get that it’s been freaken ages, but I haven’t really done anything worth posting up until now. I have posted crappier stuff in my time in London, and I think it would be a shame if I’ve posted so much stuff on Europe, and nothing on the US. It was an awesome experience – I want to make sure I’ve some way of documenting it. Give me a day or so, and I should have something up. Peace out.

It has been a long time since I have updated theUnaustralian, mostly because I am running out of things to bitch about. And I doubt I will be doing much travelling now that I am stuck in France for a while. It’s also too cold to go outside, so I ain’t moving my ass. But as the holidays approach, I should be able to begin posting again. Old stuff from the beginning of the year – will try to have less content, more bitching – I just need to get my mojo back. Where’s Maz when you need her?

(Btw – that’s the Loire River as I was walking to work. Go only a few photos down, and you can see it in the summer juts to compare).

As a last birthday surprise, Marine took me to this beautiful castle lit only by candles (it was a special event actually, there were people in costume, walking around and I guess they were trying to replicate how the castle may have been a few hundred years ago or whatever). It comparison to the tree house and zoo, it was very “grown up” – we even went on a horse ride. It was a nice end to our weekend away, as tired as we were – but really a nice end (again, apologies for the positive comments, I promise you it won’t last at least another paragraph).

This is basically the first sight of the castle we got,  the summer day was ending – but it was quickly becoming very cold. From a distance, you can already see the candles – but it was still light out, so we couldn’t really see the full effect. It only happens three times a year, and it was the last night – so it was bound to be packed.

And it FUCKING was … let me tell you, I have had bad experiences of how the French line up … but this was absolutely the worst. It would have taken literally 30mins for all of us to get in, if people just stopped shoving and pushing in front of each other, and if everyone just got into one fucking line, it’s not that fucking hard! The worst culprits are old French women, they will push in front of you and stare yo uin the face – so instead of a normal 30min line up because there were too many people, it took 1hour and a half – to finally get to a single girl, with one cash register – it was a bloody nightmare.

But once we got in, all that shit was forgotten (even temporarily) – but I can fucking tell you now, I am more likely to remember that bloody line than the rest of the fucking castle. Anywho – music was playing, choirs singing – it was the border of tacky/quaint when some guy in a frilly 15century suit comes to greet you to give you directions. But it was nice.

In the main section, there were markets and just lots of people wandering around. There was also a labrinth of candles so that was pretty nice as well. It was nice. A very nice end (yes, I have writers block right now – and I don’t feel as bitchy as I usually do). It was just nice to be able to experience something as unique as this in France. And as I have said before, it was nice ending to my birthday weekend, probably the best birthday I have ever had!

I know that I have been quite positive of late, a lot less bitching that usual which is odd I guess (even for me). Gah, it feels weird keeping the racism to a bare minimum (there are basically no ethnics in France besides Moroccans) so I am never in the mood to start complaining about the injustices of the world! But anyway, back to topic – this tiny little town is what girl’s would refer to as “pretty” – I have seen many little towns in France, I guess it looks the same as the others, but it was quite stunning (and an absolutely beautiful Summer’s day)

I forgot why, but I was in a crap mood – probably because I thought we were lost, and I was getting hungry. But seeing rural France reminds me that there are places iin the world that just really look peaceful. But I can also imagine the villagers gathering in the town square with their pitchforks preparing to chase out the ethnics … (they don’t do that in France, more like a southern US thingy)

But as I said, pretty much the same as every other small town I have been to – and if you look back through my blog, you’ll see I have been to heaps of them.

But we came to St. Aignan sur Cher, on the special recommendation of Marine’s dad (who is an excellent cook) and if he says a restaurant is good, it will be bloody good.

And it effing was, it was sooo good – and so very, very French (so French, that there were British tourists trying to pass off as French). Loved it here -

I head the sea food – I could never really tell what I am eating when the dish says, “fruit de mer” cos it just looks like crap. It taste effing good, as usual French presentation – you know this shit will taste nice.

I have wholly disliked how the French butcher ducks, don’t get me wrong – it was beautiful, but I just prefer the Chinese way of doing it. French always have to mix duck with something sweet, when really it should be more savoury -

But my GOD the dessert was NOICE – seriously, this stuff was the best thing I have EVER put in my mouth, it had pears inside and other stuff, but it would be worth driving my ass 1hour to get there just to eat this again!

Chocolate isn’t really my thing, but Marine genuinely loved this stuff – I am sure it was good, especially if was anything like what I ate.

In conclusion, if you ever get the chance to visit small towns in France, do it – you’ll not regret it. You might find little places that can be just as unforgettable – I also found an asian family looking for food, but if i know asians and I do, they aint paying bloody 70€ for that meal!

It has taken me freaken ages to get back to updating the site, and when I don’t update, less people visit – and when the numbers go down, so does my pay (yeah right, I don’t bloody get paid for this shit). But I reckon I should!!! Anywho – part of my birthday weekend was a trip to the zoo! (Yes, first tree house, now zoo – it’s a dream for any kid I guess).

First thing’s first, this Zoo is VERY expensive to get inside. So if you think you’re going to save money, you’re not. It’s also quite far from Paris AND Orleans, so you also have to pay for the gas. My photos can be misleading too, I only choose the nice ones – but that photo you see there, it smells like ass. Like you’re inside a rectum – so much duck shit. Physically, I don’t think the Zoo looks nice (because of Oz, Taronga Zoo and various other wildlife parks in Oz, I am VERY judgemental about these things) – but I really did have a good time!

The Bird Show was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING – seriously, I have never seen anything like it. All these giant predators, flying right above your head. It was spectacular – and though I absolutely hate saying this, the BEST part of the show was when the American Bald Eagle came out to fetch a fish from the pool, magnificent. Those birds are HUGE too (but some of the vultures and condors get stuck, and the trainers don’t know what to do cos the birds are bigger than they are!)

The white tigers are a main attraction to this park (they’re actually just Bengal tigers) and the new cubs have brought a shit load of tourists. They are ANNOYING to take photos of, as they keep moving and it’s difficult to capture them with a normal digital camera. I managed to FINALLY get them as they slept – not so cute now ARE they?

I don’t even want to tell you how much lunch cost in the Zoo (many people bring lunch as it’s extremely expensive to eat inside). Also, because the kiosk is situated near the African section, there are a crap load of flies AND the smell of shit. Am I losing weight? Of course not.

As weird as it was seeing African animals surrounded by lush green vegetation, it was still amazing to see them all just wandering around the place. The rhinos were massive – pity the Elephants were in a completely different section. Speaking of elephants, this fat woman barged Marine several times … she was really big, Marine couldn’t do anything.

This was too funny – French people, walking past pretending nothing is wrong. Of course there is. They were both male too.

I was VERY excited to see a Hedwig (you know, Harry Potter’s Owl?) I was a Harry Potter fan, til bitch killed Dumbledore. But seeing one of these was so cool, they’re also MUCH bigger than you think (apologies for the constanty capitalisation – I am much more expressive these days).

But THIS was hilarious – right underneath Hedwig was a bunch of dead chicks, covered in flies and maggots. Was an awesome day – I didn’t get to talk about the tiny little ducks, with the feet and how they were swimming. But this sight must have scared off the kids, and I am telling you there were a crap load of them. Zoo Parc de Beauval is worth the visit, only if you’ve never been to a Zoo before or if you’re running out of places to take your kids especially if they’re bored of Euro Disney in Paris.

My actual birthday present was staying in a tree house – and it was a giant one! Seriously – it was something I really wanted when I was young, but because I was ethnic and poor, climbing trees was as much as I could do. It was awesome, this is something that I will absolutely remember, and is also something I will absolutely never do again!

The tree houses are pretty easy to miss if you’re not looking for them. But as I was taking the photos, there were these English kids riding a pedal cart. Anyway – Marine & I were both admiring the tree house, when in the distance I heard screaming and a loud smash- I said off handedly, “those kids must have crashed somewhere“. Later on, we walked past them bah ha ha ha ha. The cart was destroyed and the little girl’s knees were all crazed and bleeding – bah ha ha, they fell into dry river bed!!! Bah ha ha … (we tried to help them though).

The website says that they are 5 meters of the ground … it was not, I reckon it’s 15-20 meters if you measure the base of the tree house to the base of the tree, but not from the base of the tree house to the base of the ground below … it is a long ass fall if you’re stupid enough to. The actually give you a harness and a carabina to attach to the ladder just in case.

It was so exciting though – seriously! Spending my birthday in a treehouse – it was awesome!!!

But as I said, long way down if you fall … it was hard getting out gear up there. Basically breakfast is left at the bottom of a pulley, which we pull up around 8am. We used that to get our luggage in. Cos we would have died trying to get our stuff in.

The entrance, it is surprisingly smaller than I thought – not that I was disappointed, it just looked massive outside.

But you have to consider that there is no bathroom and no electricity. So there is no need for anything in there but the bed. I didn’t really mind that, but later on in the evening I was beginning to feel motion sickness. I can’t really put my finger on why, because the tree house wasn’t moving at all – but it must have been swaying, even minutely – because my brain was sensing it even if I consciously wasn’t. This is the only reason why I know I can’t stay in a place like that again, cos I wouldn’t be able to bear it for too long.

That mosquito net was needed btw, cos there are a crap load of bugs that get in if you don’t close the door. Mosquitos can’t really reach it as it is too high, but there are moths and daddy long legs which you probably don’t want in your bed.

And we had a view of the lake as well, it’s not the Shangri La – but it’s just as awesome! Btw – we’re absolutely sure that people can’t see inside from all the way down there … we had to make sure really…

At night, I wanted to spend the time outside – but it is pitch black and you can’t see shit. It was also a bit chilly because we were close to the lake. So we spent most of the night inside with the door closed. I wish we could have had a fire, but that’s sort of stupid considering the entire thing is built of wood.

The logic of the tree houses is that they don’t damage the oak tree that it is on. So it is all attached by ropes and steel wire wrapped around the tree. Basically, if the tree house was taken off, it would look like nothing was ever there in the first place. The steel wire also explains how the tree house was moving when I couldn’t feel it.

One of the only things that ruin it, are these ugly shaped windows … fuck, just makes circles or something – it looks so bloody dumb. But on a practical note – there is no shower, so you have to go to the shower block. BUT there is also no toilet – and it is incredibly difficult to get up and down that tree house, especially when it is pitch black in the middle of a forest.

So they have installed a small room where you can do your business … it’s actually fun peeing in there. You sort of pee, and then you pour sand dust all over it to cover the smell and to soak the water. But I STRONGLY advise you NOT to eat anything like curry or anything else that might give you diarrhea cos your partner will hear AND smell it. And because the bucket is so small, you’re bound to miss!!!

Breakfast in a Treehouse, France, Sainte Catherine de Fierbois, Staying in a tree house, Tree House, Tree House at Camping Site, Tree Houses in France, Treehouse

Apologies in advance for the lack of updates, I have started a new job (which in France entails a shit load of crap) and we’re moving into a new apartment (which again in France entails a shit load of crap). But we can put that aside to remember the weekend my woman had set up for me, and being the organised woman that she is, was a brilliantly planned birthday retreat. I really do have to consider myself lucky – though I am away from most of my family and friends – the last three birthdays have been in foreign countries. I turned 24 in Denmark, 25 in Austria and 26 in France … all three birthdays I spent with blonde girls too!!! But this was the first where I didn’t have to pay for anything! Whoo!

Sainte Catherine de Fierbois is a tiny little village and I am guessing the only reason people come here is for the camp site (now, to Australians that sounds incredibly dodgy, but in France they’re quite different – you have to get the image of the trailer park out of your head). Most of the people here aren’t French – they’re families from England, Germany & Holland – cos they’re crazy enough to pay the outrageous prices to stay. So it’s more of a family type area. Besides the lake (which I can’t swim in cos of the piercings) there is a swimming pool, which I didn’t take photos of for very obvious reasons.

Because of the amount of kids here, there are plenty of activities to do – for example, if you’re a bunch of fat chicks who have nothing to do, then why don’t you all get onto the flying fox and get yourselves stuck … those things are made for kids … the guy had to come out to get them (I don’t know how really). You can tell they’re British, because the sun has burn their skin and it is why they appear so pink in the picture.

It has a “beach” so to speak, with artificial sand with dads waiting patiently for their children to get bored. The blue green algae mixed with the mud and sand was not enticing whatsoever. It was a giant lake of pee as far as I was concerned, packed with little kids making sand castles out of pee water.

But putting that aside, it was a very warm August day, so it must have been nice to swim in there. And regardless of my cynicism the lake was quite nice to take a walk around.

I used to love swimming out to platforms like these in North Queensland. I would dive into the lake as far as I could dare until it was so green I couldn’t tell where the surface was (with the added fear of being caught by the green weeds). But again, sea of pee – no way.

We were taking a walk, and I was pointing out the bramley (black berry). They’re a weed and they grow everywhere, but the fruit is sooo nice. But I was warned NOT to eat the berries at the bottom as Foxes mark their territory, so you would basically be eating pee.

The forest that it was surrounded by was amazing though – I was surprised myself how beautiful it was. I sound so old saying that I enjoy taking a walk, when the first time I was travelling Europe I was getting drunk and getting high …

But I am older now, and the peace and quiet is becoming who I am now …

I tried to grab them, but there was such a huge risk of falling into that frog spawn …

It was one of the most relaxing birthdays I have ever had really … and I am going to always remember it – I didn’t have a birthday cake, but I had a birthday Banana split! Totally the best way to end the day! I sometimes think Marine is too nice to me you know …