The Castle Lit Only by Candles

As a last birthday surprise, Marine took me to this beautiful castle lit only by candles (it was a special event actually, there were people in costume, walking around and I guess they were trying to replicate how the castle may have been a few hundred years ago or whatever). It comparison to the tree house and zoo, it was very “grown up” – we even went on a horse ride. It was a nice end to our weekend away, as tired as we were – but really a nice end (again, apologies for the positive comments, I promise you it won’t last at least another paragraph).

This is basically the first sight of the castle we got,  the summer day was ending – but it was quickly becoming very cold. From a distance, you can already see the candles – but it was still light out, so we couldn’t really see the full effect. It only happens three times a year, and it was the last night – so it was bound to be packed.

And it FUCKING was … let me tell you, I have had bad experiences of how the French line up … but this was absolutely the worst. It would have taken literally 30mins for all of us to get in, if people just stopped shoving and pushing in front of each other, and if everyone just got into one fucking line, it’s not that fucking hard! The worst culprits are old French women, they will push in front of you and stare yo uin the face – so instead of a normal 30min line up because there were too many people, it took 1hour and a half – to finally get to a single girl, with one cash register – it was a bloody nightmare.

But once we got in, all that shit was forgotten (even temporarily) – but I can fucking tell you now, I am more likely to remember that bloody line than the rest of the fucking castle. Anywho – music was playing, choirs singing – it was the border of tacky/quaint when some guy in a frilly 15century suit comes to greet you to give you directions. But it was nice.

In the main section, there were markets and just lots of people wandering around. There was also a labrinth of candles so that was pretty nice as well. It was nice. A very nice end (yes, I have writers block right now – and I don’t feel as bitchy as I usually do). It was just nice to be able to experience something as unique as this in France. And as I have said before, it was nice ending to my birthday weekend, probably the best birthday I have ever had!

Stunning Little Town

I know that I have been quite positive of late, a lot less bitching that usual which is odd I guess (even for me). Gah, it feels weird keeping the racism to a bare minimum (there are basically no ethnics in France besides Moroccans) so I am never in the mood to start complaining about the injustices of the world! But anyway, back to topic – this tiny little town is what girl’s would refer to as “pretty” – I have seen many little towns in France, I guess it looks the same as the others, but it was quite stunning (and an absolutely beautiful Summer’s day)

I forgot why, but I was in a crap mood – probably because I thought we were lost, and I was getting hungry. But seeing rural France reminds me that there are places iin the world that just really look peaceful. But I can also imagine the villagers gathering in the town square with their pitchforks preparing to chase out the ethnics … (they don’t do that in France, more like a southern US thingy)

But as I said, pretty much the same as every other small town I have been to – and if you look back through my blog, you’ll see I have been to heaps of them.

But we came to St. Aignan sur Cher, on the special recommendation of Marine’s dad (who is an excellent cook) and if he says a restaurant is good, it will be bloody good.

And it effing was, it was sooo good – and so very, very French (so French, that there were British tourists trying to pass off as French). Loved it here -

I head the sea food – I could never really tell what I am eating when the dish says, “fruit de mer” cos it just looks like crap. It taste effing good, as usual French presentation – you know this shit will taste nice.

I have wholly disliked how the French butcher ducks, don’t get me wrong – it was beautiful, but I just prefer the Chinese way of doing it. French always have to mix duck with something sweet, when really it should be more savoury -

But my GOD the dessert was NOICE – seriously, this stuff was the best thing I have EVER put in my mouth, it had pears inside and other stuff, but it would be worth driving my ass 1hour to get there just to eat this again!

Chocolate isn’t really my thing, but Marine genuinely loved this stuff – I am sure it was good, especially if was anything like what I ate.

In conclusion, if you ever get the chance to visit small towns in France, do it – you’ll not regret it. You might find little places that can be just as unforgettable – I also found an asian family looking for food, but if i know asians and I do, they aint paying bloody 70€ for that meal!

Been Ages Guys – Sorry

It has taken me freaken ages to get back to updating the site, and when I don’t update, less people visit – and when the numbers go down, so does my pay (yeah right, I don’t bloody get paid for this shit). But I reckon I should!!! Anywho – part of my birthday weekend was a trip to the zoo! (Yes, first tree house, now zoo – it’s a dream for any kid I guess).

First thing’s first, this Zoo is VERY expensive to get inside. So if you think you’re going to save money, you’re not. It’s also quite far from Paris AND Orleans, so you also have to pay for the gas. My photos can be misleading too, I only choose the nice ones – but that photo you see there, it smells like ass. Like you’re inside a rectum – so much duck shit. Physically, I don’t think the Zoo looks nice (because of Oz, Taronga Zoo and various other wildlife parks in Oz, I am VERY judgemental about these things) – but I really did have a good time!

The Bird Show was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING – seriously, I have never seen anything like it. All these giant predators, flying right above your head. It was spectacular – and though I absolutely hate saying this, the BEST part of the show was when the American Bald Eagle came out to fetch a fish from the pool, magnificent. Those birds are HUGE too (but some of the vultures and condors get stuck, and the trainers don’t know what to do cos the birds are bigger than they are!)

The white tigers are a main attraction to this park (they’re actually just Bengal tigers) and the new cubs have brought a shit load of tourists. They are ANNOYING to take photos of, as they keep moving and it’s difficult to capture them with a normal digital camera. I managed to FINALLY get them as they slept – not so cute now ARE they?

I don’t even want to tell you how much lunch cost in the Zoo (many people bring lunch as it’s extremely expensive to eat inside). Also, because the kiosk is situated near the African section, there are a crap load of flies AND the smell of shit. Am I losing weight? Of course not.

As weird as it was seeing African animals surrounded by lush green vegetation, it was still amazing to see them all just wandering around the place. The rhinos were massive – pity the Elephants were in a completely different section. Speaking of elephants, this fat woman barged Marine several times … she was really big, Marine couldn’t do anything.

This was too funny – French people, walking past pretending nothing is wrong. Of course there is. They were both male too.

I was VERY excited to see a Hedwig (you know, Harry Potter’s Owl?) I was a Harry Potter fan, til bitch killed Dumbledore. But seeing one of these was so cool, they’re also MUCH bigger than you think (apologies for the constanty capitalisation – I am much more expressive these days).

But THIS was hilarious – right underneath Hedwig was a bunch of dead chicks, covered in flies and maggots. Was an awesome day – I didn’t get to talk about the tiny little ducks, with the feet and how they were swimming. But this sight must have scared off the kids, and I am telling you there were a crap load of them. Zoo Parc de Beauval is worth the visit, only if you’ve never been to a Zoo before or if you’re running out of places to take your kids especially if they’re bored of Euro Disney in Paris.

The BEST Birthday Present!

My actual birthday present was staying in a tree house – and it was a giant one! Seriously – it was something I really wanted when I was young, but because I was ethnic and poor, climbing trees was as much as I could do. It was awesome, this is something that I will absolutely remember, and is also something I will absolutely never do again!

The tree houses are pretty easy to miss if you’re not looking for them. But as I was taking the photos, there were these English kids riding a pedal cart. Anyway – Marine & I were both admiring the tree house, when in the distance I heard screaming and a loud smash- I said off handedly, “those kids must have crashed somewhere“. Later on, we walked past them bah ha ha ha ha. The cart was destroyed and the little girl’s knees were all crazed and bleeding – bah ha ha, they fell into dry river bed!!! Bah ha ha … (we tried to help them though).

The website says that they are 5 meters of the ground … it was not, I reckon it’s 15-20 meters if you measure the base of the tree house to the base of the tree, but not from the base of the tree house to the base of the ground below … it is a long ass fall if you’re stupid enough to. The actually give you a harness and a carabina to attach to the ladder just in case.

It was so exciting though – seriously! Spending my birthday in a treehouse – it was awesome!!!

But as I said, long way down if you fall … it was hard getting out gear up there. Basically breakfast is left at the bottom of a pulley, which we pull up around 8am. We used that to get our luggage in. Cos we would have died trying to get our stuff in.

The entrance, it is surprisingly smaller than I thought – not that I was disappointed, it just looked massive outside.

But you have to consider that there is no bathroom and no electricity. So there is no need for anything in there but the bed. I didn’t really mind that, but later on in the evening I was beginning to feel motion sickness. I can’t really put my finger on why, because the tree house wasn’t moving at all – but it must have been swaying, even minutely – because my brain was sensing it even if I consciously wasn’t. This is the only reason why I know I can’t stay in a place like that again, cos I wouldn’t be able to bear it for too long.

That mosquito net was needed btw, cos there are a crap load of bugs that get in if you don’t close the door. Mosquitos can’t really reach it as it is too high, but there are moths and daddy long legs which you probably don’t want in your bed.

And we had a view of the lake as well, it’s not the Shangri La – but it’s just as awesome! Btw – we’re absolutely sure that people can’t see inside from all the way down there … we had to make sure really…

At night, I wanted to spend the time outside – but it is pitch black and you can’t see shit. It was also a bit chilly because we were close to the lake. So we spent most of the night inside with the door closed. I wish we could have had a fire, but that’s sort of stupid considering the entire thing is built of wood.

The logic of the tree houses is that they don’t damage the oak tree that it is on. So it is all attached by ropes and steel wire wrapped around the tree. Basically, if the tree house was taken off, it would look like nothing was ever there in the first place. The steel wire also explains how the tree house was moving when I couldn’t feel it.

One of the only things that ruin it, are these ugly shaped windows … fuck, just makes circles or something – it looks so bloody dumb. But on a practical note – there is no shower, so you have to go to the shower block. BUT there is also no toilet – and it is incredibly difficult to get up and down that tree house, especially when it is pitch black in the middle of a forest.

So they have installed a small room where you can do your business … it’s actually fun peeing in there. You sort of pee, and then you pour sand dust all over it to cover the smell and to soak the water. But I STRONGLY advise you NOT to eat anything like curry or anything else that might give you diarrhea cos your partner will hear AND smell it. And because the bucket is so small, you’re bound to miss!!!

Breakfast in a Treehouse, France, Sainte Catherine de Fierbois, Staying in a tree house, Tree House, Tree House at Camping Site, Tree Houses in France, Treehouse

Beautiful Weekend Away

Apologies in advance for the lack of updates, I have started a new job (which in France entails a shit load of crap) and we’re moving into a new apartment (which again in France entails a shit load of crap). But we can put that aside to remember the weekend my woman had set up for me, and being the organised woman that she is, was a brilliantly planned birthday retreat. I really do have to consider myself lucky – though I am away from most of my family and friends – the last three birthdays have been in foreign countries. I turned 24 in Denmark, 25 in Austria and 26 in France … all three birthdays I spent with blonde girls too!!! But this was the first where I didn’t have to pay for anything! Whoo!

Sainte Catherine de Fierbois is a tiny little village and I am guessing the only reason people come here is for the camp site (now, to Australians that sounds incredibly dodgy, but in France they’re quite different – you have to get the image of the trailer park out of your head). Most of the people here aren’t French – they’re families from England, Germany & Holland – cos they’re crazy enough to pay the outrageous prices to stay. So it’s more of a family type area. Besides the lake (which I can’t swim in cos of the piercings) there is a swimming pool, which I didn’t take photos of for very obvious reasons.

Because of the amount of kids here, there are plenty of activities to do – for example, if you’re a bunch of fat chicks who have nothing to do, then why don’t you all get onto the flying fox and get yourselves stuck … those things are made for kids … the guy had to come out to get them (I don’t know how really). You can tell they’re British, because the sun has burn their skin and it is why they appear so pink in the picture.

It has a “beach” so to speak, with artificial sand with dads waiting patiently for their children to get bored. The blue green algae mixed with the mud and sand was not enticing whatsoever. It was a giant lake of pee as far as I was concerned, packed with little kids making sand castles out of pee water.

But putting that aside, it was a very warm August day, so it must have been nice to swim in there. And regardless of my cynicism the lake was quite nice to take a walk around.

I used to love swimming out to platforms like these in North Queensland. I would dive into the lake as far as I could dare until it was so green I couldn’t tell where the surface was (with the added fear of being caught by the green weeds). But again, sea of pee – no way.

We were taking a walk, and I was pointing out the bramley (black berry). They’re a weed and they grow everywhere, but the fruit is sooo nice. But I was warned NOT to eat the berries at the bottom as Foxes mark their territory, so you would basically be eating pee.

The forest that it was surrounded by was amazing though – I was surprised myself how beautiful it was. I sound so old saying that I enjoy taking a walk, when the first time I was travelling Europe I was getting drunk and getting high …

But I am older now, and the peace and quiet is becoming who I am now …

I tried to grab them, but there was such a huge risk of falling into that frog spawn …

It was one of the most relaxing birthdays I have ever had really … and I am going to always remember it – I didn’t have a birthday cake, but I had a birthday Banana split! Totally the best way to end the day! I sometimes think Marine is too nice to me you know …

Holy Shit it’s big

One of the things that I haven’t done before in Paris was visit this building. I had no idea what it was, and never bothered finding out because it was a bloody long ass walk to get there. So on my last day as a 25yr old, I decided to find out. It ended up being a giant building with a museum of the French military, with two churches – one of them housing the tomb of Napoleon (called the l’Eglise du Dome) and it ended up being one of the most beautiful churches I had ever seen. I can’t believe I have walked passed this so many times without finding out what the hell it was!

The dome itself reminded me strongly of St Peter’s in the Vatican (but a bit smaller – and laced with gold). It cost 8€ to enter the museum (and the dome itself is included, and that’s the best part cos it’s where Napoleon is buried). I really hate paying to enter a church – but I had to see it, and I wanted something memorable to do before I turned 26. But seriously, this is one of the most beautiful places you’ll ever see in France.

The dome was just beautiful. C’est ca – there is no other way to put it. It is located right above Napoleon’s tomb.

Which is in that giant hole you see there. The great advantage of paying for entry, is that there are less tourists around. Which means you can take your time, and not have to worry about the bloody 45minute line to get in (like the bloody Louvre or the Vatican).

And when you see his tomb, bloody hell – it’s HUGE! Napoleon was supposed to be a tiny midget of a man, and he is housed in something bigger than my old bedroom AND it’s made up of this maroon marble. WTF? Not even Pope John II is buried  in anything this magnificent (he was buried in white marble, and a wooden box).

And you see the main Altar and you’re in absolute awe – and the golden reflection and the marble laced again with gold. It is really beautiful in here (can you see how positive I am being? Seriously – visit this place god damn it!)

The entrance to the crypt was a bit menacing – in it’s Pluto guarding Hades type of way, but it was really well designed – and actually quite cool.

But you can really see and compare the size of his tomb to the people around it – fark! (I actually have very little to complain about today, sun was nice and warm – no black people harassing me anywhere – no gypsies!)

The best part of it, is that he is completely surrounded by these 6ft angels, all carrying different weapons – it was such a great gift to myself. I was going to get another piercing done, but I think this was better in the end!

Avoiding my late 20s by escaping to Paris!

God – it was panic time wasn’t it? Seriously – you begin to think, “What the fuck have I done with me life?” – and then I think, oh yeah … that’s what I did with it … I now realise that I am slowly devolving into nothingness.  But I am in France, I will do the best that I can to have some fun – or at least have a day that I can remember. I really wanted to go swimming, but there isn’t anywhere to go. So I just basically made it my goal to take a picture in front of every major monument in Paris (as I have never done that before). And as you can see, the day started off beautifully in Orleans!

And as was the rest of Paris – seriously, if you look up in any part of the centre of Paris during a very sunny day – that would be your view. Green leaves and a beautiful blue sky. What more could I ask for?

But the first stop was Notre Dame de Paris – which I have never taken a photo in front of … well, I did – but I was using a crappy camera phone. I swear to you though, that I have never seen it like this. I think it is rare for Paris to look like this (I am saying this as if I live there, but I spent quite a bit of my summer in Paris in previous years, it’s never looked like this). I know the heat is killing everyone but the tourists!

I missed these markets, filled with postcards of naked women … (black and white vintage type things). I was watching some French kids scream out, “regarde, regarde” – tre funny, because they parents just act as if nothing happened.

After all these years, I also have never seen the back of this church (I guess I sort of did on Valentines day on a boat cruise) but never really got to appreciate it. It sounds like I am dying doesn’t it?

But my girlfriend’s mother, who lived in France for a large portion of her life, has never been to the Eiffel Tower. Can you imagine? People fly half the world over to see it, thousands of dollars and she’s never been there. I can’t talk, considering I have never seen Ayers Rock or the 12 Apostles in Australia – but they’re ages away from Sydney. It’s like me saying I haven’t seen the Harbour Bridge or the Opera House – but I guess you just take it for granted. But seriously – look at that? If you look back to all my photos, you will never see the Eiffel Tower looking like that!

Now this was my main aim – I have never seen it in the day (I have only been here at night for some reason). It’s difficult to get to by metro in comparison to the other monuments, and I can’t be assed walking there  from Champs Elysee, but this place totally kicks Marble Arch – honestly. It’s so big, you can’t even see the tiny little people walking around the top of it (you can sort of make them out).

And of course – back to the Basilique du Sacre Coeur, one of my most favourite places on Earth. I was looking for shelter really, cos it must have been 35degrees and I didn’t really eat of drink much. It was nice weather the whole day – and I totally regret wearing chucks the whole time, should have just worn my havies.

Anyway – the fucking train got delayed on my way back to Orleans (fucking 30mins) but I got this beauty! ANGER VILLE! BAH HA HA HA (I think it’s mostly populated by women!) – So effing funny – but it’s pronounced, “Ohn – jerr – veeye“

I also managed to see Napoleon’s tomb, but that’s going to be the next post – but I did have a good day. Not really an exciting post – but you got to see Paris like I never have.

Making Crop Circles

Ma copine was like, “Do you want to go to a giant maze?” – and I am like, “Hell Yeah” – shit I remember “the Labyrinth”, freaky ass Jim Henson puppets chasing you around and shit, and David Bowie with his pants that are on way too tight. There was also that “Signs” movies with Mel Gibson that would have been totally cool, and of course “the Children of the Corn” – but of course, nothing that exciting happens in France. I guessed that once we got to the centre, we would be rewarded with cheese and Champagne … anyway, she suggested that we go at night, and I am like – “how am I supposed to take photos?” – Fuck I am an idiot sometimes, listen to your woman people! They’re right sometimes!

Not that I didn’t have fun – it was crazy in there, crazy hot as well (again, was a perfect summer’s day). It doesn’t look like much of a maze outside, think Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire. Seriously, this place has so much potential. I reckon you should shove in a bunch of school kids in there, and get people to chase them around with Jason & Freddie Kruger masks – or better yet Tele Tubbies!!!

It costs 10€ each, so I am like, what the hell – I thought it was free! But no – it’s not. Paintball is also another good one, shit – I would have the time of my life. I know I got myself a good sense of direction, so I am not all that fussed. I totally wanted to race to get to the centre the quickest – to get to that giant bird.

But this shit is harder than it seems. That corn is fukn high, and you can’t exactly wade through it – some people have attempted to. In fact, Marine said something about her work colleagues getting drunk and then breaking in to attempt to do it. Yes, you can see the damage they left – ha ha ha. I would love to do that as well. I ain’t scared of the dark people.

But no, there was no racing for me and Marine, even though I knew I would beat ma biche. I run faster as well! They have this Peter Pan theme inside, where we have to work out riddles to get further on in the maze. (There are also emergency exits in the maze, but they’re to the far west of the maze, so you just keep walking left as far as you can) Anyway, it was very apparent that I didn’t speak French, but they have the English translation which was supposed get me the same answer as well.

They must have used google translator or something, cos that shit doesn’t make any sense at all. Trying to read it was a fucking riddle – but there were all these people in costume, with one of the biggest Tinkerbells I have ever seen in my life – and a Captain Hook. I was glad that I didn’t speak French, because I hate when Characters in theme parks attempt to talk to me, fucking bugger off. (Couldn’t take a photo of them, it would be a bit humiliating I think – plus it was so hot, and they had these really heavy costumes).

They also had these crazy drums everywhere – I guess they were there to help with your sense of direction. This was the funniest one I saw.

Now – if you’re thinking that you can eat the corn, or steal it – not a fucking chance. The corn growth is disgusting – they look worse than my grandfathers’ toes, and you seriously don’t want to put that shit in your mouth!

Ew. Want to put those corns in your mouth? No – I didn’t think so.

But eventually we got there, hell fukn yeah – but no Champagne and Cheese … god damn it. But it was adventurous – I still can’t believe how big they got the corn to grow – no wonder that stuff was mutated.

But of course, you still get idiots who litter – seriously, I take photos of litter in the most random places. Motherfuckers just stop littering!

A Beautiful Summer’s Day

I don’t think that I have ever shown you Orléans, (actually I have a post fromwhen I first came to Orléanss back in 2007 – but I was here as a tourist back then, and now I live here). I wanted to show you guys my jogging route (because I am now fat … well, fat for an Asian – I am skinny in comparison to most Australians).

It has been rare to see a perfect summer’s day here, 35 degrees. For me, it’s nothing, I will enjoy this warmth while it lasts – but for the poor French people, I think they were dying. Literally, when the temperature hits around the 40s, people (especially the aged) start carking it. But there are other things here that can kill!

Anywho – it’s summer and of course people go swimming. Orleans is too far from any beach to go swimming (the nearest is probably 5 hours drive) You would think that the river is the best place to go, but seriously – the Loire is not the place to do it! This fresh water river has a sand bed – and apparently the sand turns to quicksand at certain areas.

Every year, hundreds of people die in the river because they decide to swim in it. There are no rapids, no crocodiles like Australia, no snakes no nothing. Just the river itself. What happens is, people go swimming, and the river bank underneath them randomly collapses to form a whirlpool and they are simply sucked inside – and never found again. It’s really fucked up. (That’s the main bridge of Orléans btw, Pont George V)

It’s freaky huh – you would think that shit only happens in the Amazon or something, or some random place in Africa – definitely not France! (This is the walkway where I tried to go jogging, it’s not a good place to go jogging …)

Actually, what’s more fucked up is that people still take their kids swimming in the Loire, even though there are many documented cases and it’s always on the news. Marine flat out refuses to go in, I don’t really care – until I checked the place out myself. (BTW that’s a river boat restaurant, I think they are planning to build more of them along the river. The cinemas are right behind them).

This river is filthy – there is an abundance of green algae, on top of whatever is coming out of the storm water drains. The river also flows very slowly, giving all that bacteria time to grow especially in the warm climate. Can you imagine swallowing that crap? Let alone, allowing your kids to swim in it? But there were a crap load of kids in there swimming. Yuck.

But this City is quite beautiful, and because we live so close to the Bridge, the Loire & the main strips – I can take it all in as slowly as I want. This is a long way from the sirens, drugs and domestic abuse of the areas I lived in London. This is Orléans, nothing happens here except the random deaths in the Loire by whirlpools and quicksand. (La Cathédrale Sainte-Croix, much nicer than Notre Dame de Paris!)

If you ever feel like killing yourself, eat one of these and living suddenly rocks!

When I came back from London, I had to give ma biche some presents (as always – not that I am forced too, a happy gf a happy couple makes). One specific thing requested was cheesecake – as it is not sold widely in France at all (ironically the land of cheese). Now – I once thought that the best cheese cake ever was at Castle Towers in Sydney.

It is not. If you happen to be in London, get your ass over to your nearest Marks & Spencers – buy your ass some of this shit, you will not regret it. I got them at King’s Cross, then guarded them with my life over the two hour train ride to Paris, than the 1 hour train ride to Orleans. And yes, it was fucking worth it. Hell Yeah!

The Lemon Ricotta cheese cake was nice. Marine liked it better – it had flawless cheesecake texture, and was as good as anything you get at any restaurant (and if a restaurant was smart, maybe they should just serve this shit directly).

But this – this masterpiece, Banana & Tofee cheesecake is the best fucking thing you will ever put in your mouth (there lots of good things girls can put in their mouths, but let’s not go there). But seriously – the BEST FUCKING CHEESECAKE IN THE WORLD!

The only regret I had was that I bought it for ma biche … sniff, sniff – I knew it had to be good when I saw it … and I only god a French portion … I could eat 50 of them …